TITS Ahoy Wednesday

Battle of the Network Stars Edition

 

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GORILLANAUT REVIEWS 5/18-5/24

THE LAST MAN ON EARTH

THE OMEGA MAN

I AM LEGEND

 

LMOE

 

MONSTROIDMsrd

Hey Kids! It’s Tits Ahoy Wednesday!

People say Rupert Murdoch is evil, but would an evil man invent the idea of putting a stacked topless chick in the newspaper? No, no he wouldn’t.

Samantha Fox!

 

MONSTROID METAL TUESDAY

Tank- “Heavy Artillery” & “Turn Your Head Around”

 

Tank “He Fell In Love With A Stormtrooper”

 

Your Medicine

LOST-There’s No Place Like Home

I was asleep when I watched this episode but I got the gist of it. The OCEANIC SIX will most likely be the name of some shitty Austin band any day now. But in the meantime listen to the sad sweeping score as the Six get off the plane, they’ve been through so much. JACK’S martyrdom continues as he heroically bleeds and walks with his look on his face. His only look.

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” Why are you watching that stupid island show?”

I don’t know about you but I just don’t see enough commercials during LOST. I wonder how they make their money? So they have a stupid press conference where we get the fake story about a fishing boat or some such shit. I would’ve them if there were any giant gorillas on the island. Why would they let a chick with a murder warrant be at a press conference? 

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You had your chance. Fag”

Cheech looks orange. God, why do they make HURLEY run? Oh yeah, I remember what was real fucking stupid, KATE’S tracking abilities. So they start making trips to the freighter but first they separate the nameless characters who don’t have flashbacks from the others. Or they should’ve. Why are they still there? Man they sure got gipped in the OCEANIC SIX deal.

vlcsnap-13037951 ” If we’re not gonna fuck I’m gonna make some nachos.”

Not much happened really. I kept thinking some violence would erupt or something. It was like waiting for Godzilla to get to Tokyo, but he never gets there. Oh, BATMANUEL and the OTHERS showed up, more than a little late. Still no mention of the ENTIRE other island. And five miles back and forth is a long way in a rubber raft. Big two hour season finale in two weeks, but in the meantime check out Jesus Franco’s EUGENIE DE SADE

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” good nachos”

It stars the late Soledad Miranda and is available from Blue Underground, which is a great DVD company.

Spider-Man’s Bad Trip to the 5th Dimension

By the time the third season of the 1967 SPIDER-MAN animated show came around things had begun to get a little weird. Producer Ralph Bakshi used recycled footage from his 1966 show ROCKET ROBIN HOOD for the basis of Spidey’s trippiest episode, REVOLT IN THE FIFTH DIMENSION. It all starts with Spidey staring at the night sky, wondering about stars and such. Through a series of psychedelic swirls of stars and planets we come to a planet called Gorth.

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Two green guys are trying to hide their library of knowledge from Infitata, a cosmic villain who lives in “Dementia 5”. Here he is now in one of his two poses.

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So they plan to launch the library to safety in a rocket. Infitata sends his “psycho army” after the ship but it does make it to Spider-Man and is revealed to be very tiny. The pilot uses telepathy to explain everything and then dies.

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Spidey learns Dementia 5 is “nowhere and everywhere” and is “the creation of Infitata, the master intelligence who controls by the power of evil with thought alone”. Spidey has no clue and goes about his way until he is carried away to the Dementia 5. Dementia 5 is from the original cartoon, while Fifth Dimension is from the Spider-Man version. But they are interchangeable, well as far as I am concerned anyway.

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After freaking out for a bit and traveling the “stairway of mystery”, Spidey tries to escape.

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When he calms down, Spidey realizes it’s all an illusion. But that’s after Infitata shows him his trippy hand throne and new pose.

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He closes his eyes and wishes himself home, where he intends to turn over the library to the Feds. The visuals are fairly surreal and the acid jazz/rock helps make it Spidey’s weirdest animated drug influenced episode.