Comics from the Garage

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AATANK- Bollywood Jaws

 

BABY ROSEMARY- Feel Bad Porn!

Baby Rosemary

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Final Girl Film Club-The Antichrist

Leave it to the Italians to jump on the POSSESSION OF JOEL DELANEY band wagon and come up with this lurid family melodrama. I love those guys. So Hipolita is sorta paralyzed , has daddy issues and is generally mopey and annoying. She goes to see a mannequin of Jebus’s mom which is holding the six daggers you need to get from that guy Booginhagen before you can kill Damien.  There’s a lot of fucked up people attempting to get cured, people having fits, holding snakes, drooling and moaning. But Jebus doesn’t fix her and now she’s even more bitter. She’s actually the anti-Geri Jewell.  Hippolita has a brother, a sort of Richard Carpenter like brother that hangs around doing very little but being wispy. Her dad is screwing some hot broad which is driving devil girl batshit.  For some reason Hipolita reminded me of Carol the receptionist from the Bob Newhart Show. It takes awhile but she gets possessed by an evil ancestor witch during some progressive hypnosis therapy.  She starts being rude at parties and seducing dopey looking german kids. I kept expecting a blind guy to be killed by a dog like in every other italian horror movie.  I was sedated by Niquil when I watched this so I’m a bit hazy but I got the gist of it. 

"Jebus save Minnie Driver!"

“Jebus save Minnie Driver!”

 

Hipolita then regresses to a really cool party where her ancestor eats a toad head and rims a goat. She really goes for it with an excellent simulated performance. 

vlcsnap-53509031So that’s where Cousin It’s anus is?

 

Try getting some actress like Gwyneth Paltrow to give a simulated goat rim job for a movie. Not gonna happen. As she becomes more possessed Hipolita begins to resemble a really down on her luck transexual Annie Lennox impersonator. After the group sex in the ferns goat orgy it’s all down hill sadly.  There’s some colorful vomiting and some “your mother chokes gophers in hell” demon voice stuff. The music was cool. It just seemed a bit tame, even with the goat.

Porno! Vampires! Haven! LUST AT FIRST BITE

Seka, John Holmes, Kay Parker, Serena, John Leslie

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Horrors of Gilligan’s Island

The great Vitto Scotti as Dr. Boris Balinkoff and Mike Mazurki as Igor.

Mary Ann and Ginger in bondage!