LES PLAISIRS DE SADIQUE ANAL GORILLE

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WEREWOLF OF THE DAY- Morgus the Magnificent

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FINAL GIRL FILM CLUB -FRIDAY THE 13th/MY BLOODY VALENTINE

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Random thoughts… I apologize for the meandering

FRIDAY THE 13th Uncut- Blu ray

Holy crap, is it really just 10 seconds they added to this motherfucker? I only really noticed some more Bacon as he gets the impossible arrow driven through his fake neck. How the fuck did Betsy fit under the bed, reach out, grab Bacon and then shove an arrow slowly through his neck anyway? I bet Savini wasn’t happy when he saw this blu ray as it does his work no favors.

I can’t say I was impressed with the actual blu ray disc. The daytime stuff looks great but the night scenes look awful. They were dark before but now they are very grainy and there’s no blacks. To make it worse the whole image is cropped, so you’re not actually seeing everything.  You think they would’ve cut the killing of the real snake out just to save them the inevitable whining. I get the feeling they rushed this out to cash in. Should’ve put Padalecki on the cover, he’s dreamy.

As far as the actual movie goes, it’s as good as it needed to be. You gotta wonder why, especially in 1958, a cook would bring her monstrously deformed son to her job. It’s the fifties, chain him to a radiator or something.  Also, for a kid that can’t swim with a wonky head he got pretty far out there in the lake.

As far as the girls, seems like they could’ve picked some cuter ones. How hard could that be? Nice tits are one of the cheapest and best way to boost production value in an exploitation flick. ( Yea, I know I sound like an asshole but it makes sense all things considered)

The score and sound effects sounds great on the bluray.

I kept thinking Mr. Christy looked like Ned Flanders. When the final girl found him hanging upside down it reminded of  a guy doing sit ups with gravity boots.

Why do dudes in horror movies do Bogart impressions?

The flick has more nostalgic appeal for me than anything else. I was in high school in 1980 and remember the trailer and radio spots well. There was a chick in my school named Margaret Voorhees who had a magical ass. I asked her to my prom, she said no.

I saw Betsy Palmer on Captain Kangeroo once, during the beginning where people would say “Hi, Captain”.

I wonder what Arboghast looks like naked?

Blah, blah, blah…BAY OF BLOOD…blah,blah,blah CARRIE…. (that’s right, four ellipses)

Mrs. Voorhees really doesn't want CBGB's re-opened

Mrs. Voorhees really doesn't want CBGB's re-opened

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY BLOODY VALENTINE

I hadn’t seen this since it came out but a lot of the other horror nerds were excited about the uncut version so that’s cool. 

So it’s set in 1981 Canada which would make it 1974 America, more or less. Except for young Wilford Brimley the cast is kind of pasty.  All the Moosehead made me wanna puke.  Basically, everyone looks like they’re on their way to a Chilliwack concert.  But despite being goofy, they’re all pretty good and realistic.

The first killing of green eye shadow girl seemed tacked on and out of place but I understand why it was there.

I really like the back story and the way the plot is constructed. It gives the flick a little more depth than the usual slasher and helps with the whodunnit aspect.

Man. that’s a good drier. I wish mine got that hot.

Loved the nail gun on young Mr. Brimley.

I don’t remember any naked chicks.

My favorite shot was the kid under the bed.

Why was that guy snorting soft drinks?

Lead dude looked like John Mayer.

Waitin' for Chilliwack

Waitin' for Chilliwack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rule: “no women in the mine”. Wow, that’s a bad rule.

MBV would make a great triple bill with THE BOOGENS and THE SEVERED ARM.

Nice to see the gore put back . I love latex and ingenuity.

FINAL GIRL


BWANA vs. BIG PORN

As at least one of you knows, Gorillanaut has a youtube channel with clips and trailers from a whole bunch of flicks(http://www.youtube.com/user/chuckvoodoo). One of our most popular videos was the theme song from the 70’s porno HOT  ‘N’ SAUCY PIZZA GIRLS. It was just the song and the first couple of non-sex minutes, nothing spectacular but amusing. So yesterday I get an email from head honcho Brennon Jones. Here’s the email:

VCX Pizza Girls
hey chuck voodoo,       

Listen, that Pizza Girls video with John Holmes you have up, we own it. Take it down immediately or we’ll have your acct. deleted.

This is not a joke. Please take it down immediately.

Thanks.

So I consulted our lawyer who said:
       

Based on my reading of bullets 7 and 8, he can’t do anything but complain to youtube, at which point they can decide to remove it.

But then again, we’ve all heard that saying around Hollywood, “don’t fuck with Brennon Jones”

He NEVER jokes.  Never.

 

So I pulled the video. But here’s a review of VCX’s ULTRA FLESH

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MAGGIE TRUDEAU ( she’s mentioned in the Ultra Flesh review but I didn’t think anyone would remember her)

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13 MURDERS BAVA STYLE

All this talk of FRIDAY THE 13TH reminded me of one of its inspirations, Mario Bava’s body count movie, BAY OF BLOOD.

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CHIMP TROUBLE

LINK

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The Mysterious Mogul of Smut! PORNOCTOPUS

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