FINAL GIRL FILM CLUB -FRIDAY THE 13th/MY BLOODY VALENTINE


outlook-61

 

 

Random thoughts… I apologize for the meandering

FRIDAY THE 13th Uncut- Blu ray

Holy crap, is it really just 10 seconds they added to this motherfucker? I only really noticed some more Bacon as he gets the impossible arrow driven through his fake neck. How the fuck did Betsy fit under the bed, reach out, grab Bacon and then shove an arrow slowly through his neck anyway? I bet Savini wasn’t happy when he saw this blu ray as it does his work no favors.

I can’t say I was impressed with the actual blu ray disc. The daytime stuff looks great but the night scenes look awful. They were dark before but now they are very grainy and there’s no blacks. To make it worse the whole image is cropped, so you’re not actually seeing everything.  You think they would’ve cut the killing of the real snake out just to save them the inevitable whining. I get the feeling they rushed this out to cash in. Should’ve put Padalecki on the cover, he’s dreamy.

As far as the actual movie goes, it’s as good as it needed to be. You gotta wonder why, especially in 1958, a cook would bring her monstrously deformed son to her job. It’s the fifties, chain him to a radiator or something.  Also, for a kid that can’t swim with a wonky head he got pretty far out there in the lake.

As far as the girls, seems like they could’ve picked some cuter ones. How hard could that be? Nice tits are one of the cheapest and best way to boost production value in an exploitation flick. ( Yea, I know I sound like an asshole but it makes sense all things considered)

The score and sound effects sounds great on the bluray.

I kept thinking Mr. Christy looked like Ned Flanders. When the final girl found him hanging upside down it reminded of  a guy doing sit ups with gravity boots.

Why do dudes in horror movies do Bogart impressions?

The flick has more nostalgic appeal for me than anything else. I was in high school in 1980 and remember the trailer and radio spots well. There was a chick in my school named Margaret Voorhees who had a magical ass. I asked her to my prom, she said no.

I saw Betsy Palmer on Captain Kangeroo once, during the beginning where people would say “Hi, Captain”.

I wonder what Arboghast looks like naked?

Blah, blah, blah…BAY OF BLOOD…blah,blah,blah CARRIE…. (that’s right, four ellipses)

Mrs. Voorhees really doesn't want CBGB's re-opened

Mrs. Voorhees really doesn't want CBGB's re-opened

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY BLOODY VALENTINE

I hadn’t seen this since it came out but a lot of the other horror nerds were excited about the uncut version so that’s cool. 

So it’s set in 1981 Canada which would make it 1974 America, more or less. Except for young Wilford Brimley the cast is kind of pasty.  All the Moosehead made me wanna puke.  Basically, everyone looks like they’re on their way to a Chilliwack concert.  But despite being goofy, they’re all pretty good and realistic.

The first killing of green eye shadow girl seemed tacked on and out of place but I understand why it was there.

I really like the back story and the way the plot is constructed. It gives the flick a little more depth than the usual slasher and helps with the whodunnit aspect.

Man. that’s a good drier. I wish mine got that hot.

Loved the nail gun on young Mr. Brimley.

I don’t remember any naked chicks.

My favorite shot was the kid under the bed.

Why was that guy snorting soft drinks?

Lead dude looked like John Mayer.

Waitin' for Chilliwack

Waitin' for Chilliwack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rule: “no women in the mine”. Wow, that’s a bad rule.

MBV would make a great triple bill with THE BOOGENS and THE SEVERED ARM.

Nice to see the gore put back . I love latex and ingenuity.

FINAL GIRL


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9 Comments

  1. What DOES Arbogast look like naked? Do you think his scrotum is extremely elastic like Zebedy Colt’s? I bet it is. I wonder if I could use it like a piece of silly putty for therapeutic stress reduction…or to pick up lint and pet hair…or to copy a picture of Dick Tracy from the funnies and make him look all stretchy and weird?

    Oh, good review…I guess. Sorry, all I can think about is getting my hands on Arbo’s scrot.

  2. I thought Arbogast was a chick. Somebody used “Arbogast naked” as a search term on my blog.

  3. Zebedy wasn’t the guy with the stretchy scrotum though, it was whoever played the devil. I feel like I wasted my “Chilliwack” references, god damn it.

  4. Oh, I thought Zebedy played the devil…my bad. You know, Chiliwack would work better if more than 3 people knew what the fuck a Chiliwack was. Your obscure references will be your downfall…no one cares about Canadian rockers…now, a naked Arbogast, THAT’S what the internet wants!

  5. why do i have to be logged in to leave a comment? that’s un-american. what have you got against “change”?

  6. Don’t you think Wendy O looks like Betsy Palmer?

  7. She totally does! I still haven’t read the other Film Club reviews….if anyone else mentions Chiliwack, I owe you an apology.

  8. I thought there would be more reviews but I think you’re right about people not wanting to write their own thoughts so much as hear Stacie’s opinions.

  9. Yeah, they’d rather chat with her in the comment section (which is cool) about the movies…maybe if the Film Club could all meet at Stacie’s house then everyone could write about their awesome experience of hanging out with FG and what they thought about what she thought of the movie they watched together.


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