Gwyneth’s Shocking New Role!

Holy Shit! I take back everything I ever said about Gwyneth Paltrow. My cousin Giacomo (he’s the one that, along with me, was kicked out of the bar by Nick Nolte) just told me he heard from his agent that she has signed on to play legendary Danish film actress Bodhil Joensen in a biopic. She starred in the classic A SUMMER DAY.


 If they wait a couple of years they could try this chick:


For the truly curious and difficult to offend, here’s an interview with the late actress:





  1. You wish…Cousin G is off his rocker.

  2. He was a little crazy once but reliable still. Scarlett Johansen wanted it too.

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