GREETINGS FROM THE PLANET SATURN


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Wow, this is more like it. Who doesn’t like a movie where a guy goes into space, comes home and immediately starts to dissolve like a Burrito Supreme in the shower? He essentially becomes what the French call “fusion burrito suprême dans l’homme une douche chaude”. He needs human blood to survive although I don’t know why as it does absolutely no good. You know it’s a great movie when the severed head of one of the astronaut’s victims gets dumped in a creek and floats slowly away as we cut to three minutes of other scenes before returning to see the head bob down the creek before going over a waterfall and cracking open. That is how you do it.

 

hey pregnant teens, see if you can spot the hidden message.

hey pregnant teens, see if you can spot the hidden message.

So our hero astronaut Steve stumbles around while occasionally having flashbacks about seeing the sun through the rings of Saturn. In a lot of ways he looks like a wine bottle that someone has dripped hot crayon wax onto. He even leaves his ear on a tree branch.

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Steve is tracked by his buddy Dr. Ted Nelson and a lone general because the space agency wants to keep it on the down low. By that I mean the quiet “down low”  as opposed to the “down low” where black guys have anal sex with each other at the park restroom to prove how un-gay they are. But that’s neither here nor there. This is a great seventies drive in flick. It’s hopelessly stupid yet ridiculously entertaining. It’s pretty much like THE FIRST MAN INTO SPACE but wetter and drippier. Sadly it’s not a Criterion release like FMIP but this disc from Sinister Cinema is pretty great.

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"he was born on a summer day, 1951"

"he was born on a summer day, 1951"

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