SEVEN DEGREES OF PAUL SNIDER’S SEX BENCH

 

Jamie Lee Curtis will play me in a tv movie? But she's partially a boy.

Jamie Lee Curtis will play me in a tv movie? But she's partially a boy.

 

 

Tonight 5-30-09 on the supercool RTN network DOROTHY STRATTEN on BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY.  You kids remember Dorothy, she’s the one that christened the sex bench prototype.

 

Michael Lohan prepares the sex bench for time travel to the year 2491.

Michael Lohan prepares the sex bench for time travel to the year 2491.

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MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS

Jack Arnold’s MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS at GORILLANAUT

Hey, check it out. Bwana caught one of those Westwego sex trouts."

Hey, check it out. Bwana caught one of those Westwego sex trouts."

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George Harrison-Undead Child Abductor

Apparently, George Harrison has risen from the grave to abduct children as evidenced by this police sketch from the Madeleine McCann case. Stupid Nosferatu Beatle with his crappy Bangladesh album and his cravings for child flesh. I’ll “my Sweet Lord” him with a mouthful of rock salt and a needle and thread. That’ll keep him down.

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Extra! Extra!

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SHITLOCK HOLMES

I’ve never seen a Guy Ritchie movie but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he sucks. He’s the guy that willingly married Madonna and made a movie with her…it…whatever.  So he made a Sherlock Holmes movie with Downey Jr. Fuck, I’m already tired of this guy’s comeback. Anyway, I hate judging based on the trailer but that’s what they’re for. So I saw the trailer and it looks like this:

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Basically, it seems to be a LETHAL WEAPON Holmes movie with Downey Jr. doing a horrible accent and being an idiot. Please someone give Downey Jr. an eight-ball so he can go back to wanting to taste gun metal. Why didn’t they just get Hugh Laurie and Eddie Izzard?

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WEEKEND VIEWING

I don’t have very high expectations for any of these but this is what I got lined up for this weekend.

UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS

Gotta be better than TWILIGHT and it has Rhona Mitra!

 

AMERICAN SCARY

I love horror hosts but this better have some Morgus.

JAGUAR LIVES

How could this not be awesome?